Humble pie, 'a la mode... ;-)

I went to O'ahu for an interview with Hawaiian Airlines [as a Flight Attendant] on Monday; 3 weeks of nerves awaiting the fateful day meant a lot of carb over-indulgence on my part...which admittedly, does not make one feel better, only worse.  ;-9  Fast forward to today, which finds me at home on the Big Island coming down from that major adrenaline high and reflecting on 'what just happened?'  Dare I say, I was convinced and borderline cocky:  I had this one IN the bag.  So, interview day comes and even though our group interviewer tells us they received 6000 applications in all, I'm still convinced I'm SO great they'll see me, love me, hire me, and *POOF* I'm Hawaiian Airlines newest F.A.  Imagine my surprise, when even being so presumptuous to change my flight home for an "unknown date", I receive the "thanks, but NO thanks" e-mail.  So sets in the shock: "wha..?!  How could they NOT love me?  How could they NOT invite me back for the second & third interviews I was so convinced were mine?"  And then, the reasons about why this is just as it should be come FLOODING in:  #1 Being away from my kids for days a time, no thank you.  #2 Being away from my Husband for days at a time, no thank you.  #3 Dealing with ignorant people all the time, NO thank YOU!  #4 Missing meeting occasionally, NO, and  #5 This list could go on and on.  Don't get me wrong - the benefits would have been great, but would the rest have been worth it?  So, when I have any doubt in my mind that things worked out JUST the way they should, I remember this night a couple weeks ago:  while sitting in Jade Palace restaurant eating a 'celebatory' dinner with my family, we discuss the +'s and -'s to my being a Flight Attendant, and I sum it up simply, "I'll be gone ALL the time!"  The family sits quietly for a second to ponder the statement, and as it sets in, I look up at Kawena, who is sitting directly across me at the table, with her head bowed and tears streaming silently down her face.  And I realize, yes, some things are meant to be, and home caring for my family is ALL for me.

<3 and hugs,
Mrs. C