Yes, but no.

I feel the need for change.  In so many ways...

Since the New Year, I've read several articles/posts/blogs on how not/to raise your children.  While many of the articles were helpful, here's the deal for me.

1.  Our children, we know them better than anyone else (and still sometimes I wonder if I really do).  So because something worked for one Mom doesn't mean it'll work for me (no matter how well her persuasive writing).  I have 2 really amazing girls, who we [were so naive to have] thought we could raise pretty much identically.  Do I even need to say they are total and complete opposites...?  Granted:  their need for love, boundaries, and discipline are much the same.  But still - the way in which these things speak to them are SO DIFFERENT.

2.  I just read a blog post from someone claiming that you should never allow your child to see you vulnerable, but rather, they should see you 'conquer' through rough experiences.  Um...excuse me.  No.  I hear you:  no unpredictable, blathering mom mess on a weekly basis, but come on.  When else will our children realize and make accommodation for the fact their parents are [so] not exempt from feelings?  I would hate to raise 2 lovely daughters in to 2 stony mothers (or whatever they decide to be).  Sorry, but not sorry, I don't mind letting my girls see me cry.

Ok, so now that's off my chest.  How many more thoughts can I get out today...?  none.  ;)

In closing, there's this idea out there and it overwhelms me.  Some women say (maybe even lightly) that it is their mission in life to be a 'better mom than mine was to me'.  Um...again.  Excuse me.  That thought frightens me.  Because as imperfect as she was, that's some BIG shoes to fill.  So, I'm fine, right here.  Doing the best I can.

*yes, I am missing Mom.

Lots of love, and warm hugs.  xoxo
Mrs. C

Time and other things of past.

Whew.  I bet you never saw this coming.  :) 

It's true.  Calista-Rae, AKA Makana, is officially a ninth grader.  I am the mother of a high-school-aged child.  Yes, I feel like I was just cradling her in my arms yesterday, and yes, I feel her hand loosening it's grip on mine, and yes, I cried as I watched her board the high school bus, and no, I didn't hijack the bus for another hug and kiss from her, or to whisper another word of advice and encouragement, like I felt I needed to.  And guess what?  She survived the first day.  And the second.  And the third; and then I noticed the pattern:  my kids survive without me.  How can that be?

Calista, 1st day 9th Grade, Kamehameha Schools Hawaii Campus

Miss Kawena, as to spare Mama from the breakdown of too many milestones in one year, keeps in routine at Kanu as a 4th grader!  Of course, her anxiety of no longer having big sissy around campus was evident, but she too, survived the transition, and is thriving.

Kawena, 1st day 4th Grade, Kanu

Terry is working out on the dairy farm in O'okala, helping build the expansion there.  He is finishing up the last year or so of the expansion of his brain and will hopefully be graduating in 2014 with a BS in Agriculture, majoring in Aquaculture.  Um yeah.  He's amazing.

My dirty farm boy

Ok, so moving on.  To me?  Well, finished up a project, moved my office home, going to tend to my house and personal matters I put to the wayside while my energies were focused primarily on work, and think about all the things I am thankful for, some of which involve my Mom.  Yep, that pretty much sums it up.  ;)

Ka 'ohana Campbell

Lots of love.  xoxoxo

Losing Mom

Elissa Nalani Prestidge Recaido was born April 15, 1955 in Honolulu, Hawaii; she was the fourth of 9 children born to Albert and Elizabeth Prestidge, Sr. of Kalihi, Hawaii.  Lisa attended St. John the Baptist School in Kalihi,  and graduated from Kamehameha in 1973.  After graduation, she worked as a waitress and a hula dancer on a local tour boat, while attending school part-time at Honolulu Community College.   In 1975, Lisa met Charles Recaido; they were wed on June 12, 1977. They welcomed their first child, DoRe', later that year.  In 1979, two ministers of God shared the gospel story, which Lisa embraced with her whole heart.  This strengthened her lifelong faith in and love of God; her example in these things marked a path for her 'ohana and others to follow.   Keala was born in 1982; two years later, the family moved to Kealakekua, on the Big Island.  They welcomed Joshua in 1985; Kale followed in 1987.   In 1988, the family relocated again to Waimea, and, in 1992, Charles and Lisa's youngest child, Noah, was born.

Lisa worked many years as a store clerk in the community of Waimea, making many friends along the way.  Her interests included la'au lapa'au (Hawaiian medicinal healing), which she had opportunity to study under Papa 'Auwae at Lapakahi; midwifery; and political issues pertaining to sovereignty and the Hawaiian kingdom, with great interest in perpetuating the Hawaiian culture.  She spent many years joyfully raising her children, volunteering in numerous school- and community-based activities, sharing with countless others the sweetness and warmth of her beautiful spirit.

                 

Lisa’s journey ended June 29, 2012. She was preceded in death by her eldest brother William, and beloved nephew Mark Maglinti. She is survived by parents, Albert & Elizabeth Prestidge, Sr. of Kalihi; husband, Charles Recaido of Waimea; daughters, DoRe’ (Daniel) Arnall of Silverdale, WA, Keala (Terry) Campbell of Waimea; sons, Joshua Recaido of Bremerton, WA, Kale Recaido of Waimea, Noah Recaido of Bremerton, WA; five granddaughters, Calista, Kiana, Mikela, Kawena, and Malia;  sisters, Alberta (Gilbert) Cardus of Waipio, Jacqueline (Henry) Kamai of Kalihi, Carol (Robert) Ueda of Kahuku, Althea (Peter) Marcellino of Waianae, Elizabeth (Judy Hillyer) Prestidge of Fremont, CA; brothers, Albert (Melinda) Prestidge, Jr. of Kaneohe, Robert Prestidge of San Francisco, CA; and numerous nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts & uncles.

What if I had 5 more minutes with my beautiful, amazing, genius, one-of-a-kind Mom?  I would ask her if it was all worth it, and she would say it was.

We are overwhelmed with gratitude for all the thoughts, prayers, and messages we received after news of Mom's passing traveled.  Mahalo mahalo mahalo to all who have reached out, both naturally and spiritually.

It has been discovered that in the months prior to her leaving us, Mom wrote letters to quite a few of our beloved friends and family.  It's been so comforting to read what was on Mom's mind and in her heart; I believe this was her last gift to us.  

Mom has been preparing us since childhood to live and thrive without her.  And so it begins.  I only have thankfulness in my heart to our God for sending her to Granny & Papa, who loved her best, and shared her with us.  Me ke aloha pau ole, Mama.  Until we meet again.

[this has been a draft for 9 months, I think itʻs time to share]  Love, Me

Elissa Nalani Prestidge Recaido

Elissa Nalani Prestidge Recaido, 57, of Waimea, died June 29 at Hilo Medical Center. Born in Honolulu, she was a homemaker.

Friends may call at 9:30 a.m. July 12 at Kahilu Town Hall in Waimea for a 10:30 a.m. service. Family request aloha attire be worn. In lieu of floral arrangements, a lei or single flower is appreciated and will be used in the ceremony of spreading her ashes.

She is survived by husband, Charles Recaido, of Waimea; daughters, DoRe (Daniel) Arnall, of Silverdale, Wash., Keala (Terry) Campbell, of Waimea; sons, Joshua Recaido and Noah Recaido, both of Bremerton, Wash., Kale Recaido, of Waimea; parents, Albert (Elizabeth) Prestidge, of Kalihi, Oahu; sisters, Alberta (Gilbert) Cardus, of Waipio, Jacqueline (Henry) Kamai, of Kalihi, Oahu, Carol (Robert) Ueda of Kahuku, Maui, Althea (Peter) Marcellino, of Waianae, Oahu, Elizabeth (Judy Hillyer) Prestidge, of Fremont, Calif.; brothers, Albert (Melinda) Prestidge Jr., of Kaneohe, Oahu, Robert Prestidge, of San Francisco; five granddaughters; numerous nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles.

Arrangements by Dodo Mortuary.

The tooth fairy and money making shenanigans.

The "tooth fairy" wasn't very good at properly "archiving" one of the girls teeth after she collected it from under the pillow (who knows when, and I know, a little weird). But anyways, Kawena finds it in a little ziploc bag, and comes running to the living room to show me. "Mom! Look, I found a tooth!"

Me: "Ok honey, well it looks like the tooth fairy left it behind on accident, you can either put it on Mommy's dresser or throw it away."

Kawena: Shocked I suggested such a thing, "No way, Mom!"

And as she's walking back to her room, pondering her new found fortune, I hear her whisper mischievously, "This might still be worth something!!"

On that note, enjoy this story:
 

Creativity, in our children.

e·qui·lib·ri·um

Equilibrium:
A state of rest or balance due to the equal action of opposing forces.

Sometimes, I am SO off balance, in the state of UNrest.  All or nothing-instant gratification--excessive--indulgent--always going BIG or going home, kinds of off balance.  I know what I need to do, I just need to do it.  Like: set priorities straight.  Think things through.  Breathe.  Balance.  Be flexible.  Rid myself of things that don't bring me JOY or are a waste of precious time.  (wait, is this considered...oh, never mind)  :9

Recovery Ice Bath:

Freezing craziness after a super long run.

Teehee.  Ok, so I made up my own definition for that one.  ;)  I had my first one on Sunday, after a 13.11 mile run.  In the likely case you've never been crazy enough to have one yourself - this is how it goes down.

1.  Run for a period of time long enough to where your legs are like what the hey are you doing, I have grown a brain FOR you and will simply refuse to move in a natural or coordinated form (yes, picture Woody from Toy Story kinda run).

2.  Make a hot cup of anything.  I chose water, but cocoa and tea would work just as well.  It's a mean trick, but it works.  Hot inside, frozen outside.

3.  Don a hoodie and knitted cap, and get your game face on.  Yell in your best Arnold Schwarzenegger (ok, I had to spell check his last name) voice "YOU CAN DO THIS!"

4.  Start the cold water in the tub, and as much as you try to, don't forget the ice.

5.  Start your descent.  Stick your foot in and ignore the little voice in your head convincing you this is quite possibly the way you will die.

6.  Realize it's Now or Never.  Submerse bottom half shakily.  Chatter teeth.  Close eyes.  And before you know it, you're numb, and thinking, this is not so bad now, is it?  

7.  Last but not least - realize the full depth of your mental problems.

 ----------------

Oh, and in case you're wondering - it really works!  NO pain yesterday, or even today!  ;)

Happy Tuesday, Happy kids are back in school day!

Love and hugs,
Mrs. C